the wind is knocking at my door

So I broke 100 today, scored 96. I won low net, but the prize was so worthless: a jersey five times too large, and a baseball cap with the Coca-Cola logo. What the heck?! Other people got like sunglasses and sleeves of balls. I wish I got those instead; at least then I could trade it in or something. Gah. I hate donated prizes. Gift certificates are a whole lot better.

Anyways, I didn't manage to qualify for the tour championship because my friend Ali got the last spot. But I think that's ok, because I still have three tournaments to play. If I don't qualify by then, I'll be very angry. I hope I'll be able to stay under 100. I still have to fix some things.

Nathan is such a good band. Ever since I've heard of them, I've started to listen to them. I want their album now. They are one of the many reasons I'm glad I went to Folk Fest.

listening to: 1234 - feist

i would do anything to see you again

I'm guessing I could throw myself off of a building at the moment and nobody would care. I've always wanted to die to see if anyone would show up at my funeral. I've developed a dark fascination for car accidents; I want to experience one, and that makes me fear them more.

In short, I've been feeling very insignificant these days.

and his massive genitals refused to cooperate

I got to Folk Fest at 1:30 to see Final Fantasy. Even though I went alone today, it was really good. Actually, I prefer going alone,because then you can do whatever you want, when you want, or see whoever you want without worrying if the other person doesn't want to be there. Also, then you can hang around the stage, waiting for an autograph, without having to tell someone what you're doing. Because THAT'S WHAT I DID!!!

The first workshop Final Fantasy was in was with two other groups. I didn't really like the other two groups, but Owen was super good. God I love his violin playing! He played along with the other bands, but you couldn't really hear him playing unless he got solos. Luckily, he had a solo in pretty much every song. I think he played three songs or so. He covered a Mariah Carey song!!!! It was awesome. After he finished, this guy and I were first to wait by the stage, where he was before. After we chatted it up a bit, Owen came and he signed my notepad for me. He is such a nice guy!!

After that workshop, I headed to Stage 2 to go see Final Fantasy ... again. I managed to see the end of Nathan's concert, and they sounded awesome. The Cape May was pretty ok. I didn't really like their song that much. Elini Mandell played a really good song. Final Fantasy played a song he played yesterday, but it was still really good. I had to leave after that to catch Neko's workshop.

I never heard The Sadies before today, but now that I've heard them, I have to get into them more. I loved their songs! Neko was great; she played three songs, and sang along with The Sadies and Good Brothers. I got a spot right up at the front, so the pictures I took of her today are much better than the ones we took last night.

After she finished the workshop, I waited around, hoping for another autograph. Twice she came out right in front of me, to grab her guitars and cords, but I was way to nervous to ask her for an autograph. Instead, I just stood there, hoping that she could read my mind. The last time she came back out on stage to grab her last two guitars, I almost called out but then just watched her walk away. A man standing next to me suddenly said, "you missed your chance!" I could feel my heart drop in my chest. Regardless, I stayed by the stage, hoping that maybe she would come back.

Another lady was there, hoping for Neko's autograph too. She asked the security and the volunteers if they could get her to sign for her, but they simply said "Neko said she wasn't signing." My heart sank even lower. I kept waiting, though. The lady walked away.

A volunteer on the stage caught my eye after. "Are you waiting for Neko?" she asked me, in the nicest voice. I nodded. "I'll go get her for you." She then walked back to where Neko was, but she was busy signing cheques, so the volunteer kept waiting. I just waited, praying that I would get the autograph. The volunteer then talked to this other guy, who walked up to me and said, "I can get you Neko's autograph for you." Oh my god. He took my notepad and pen and walked up to Neko. After a couple minutes, he came back to me and said, "it's a good one!" It was. I was so, so happy that I forgot my water bottle on the stage.

I made it all the way back to the volunteer area before realizing I had left the bottle. I raced back towards the stage, but it was really busy. And as I stood by the vendor where yesterday Heather bought her deep fried chocolate bar, I saw Neko Case. She was wearing a hat and sunglasses and a backpack, and at any other time I would never had recognize her, but I had seen her put it on while I was waiting. I walked up to her and I totally mumbled all this stuff, like thanks for signing my notepad, I really love your music. She was super nice. I talked to her for like thirty seconds, though, because then she had to grab another plate of poutine, and I didn't want to be a jerk and just blabber on. So I just kept walking towards the stage.

I also got Nathan's autographs! The lead singer recognized me from plate recycling, and when I was returning my plate after dinner she recognized me again. Performers are so nice! I can't believe how lucky I was today, and how everything turned out so great. I'm just disappointed that I can't watch Final Fantasy's actual concert tomorrow. However, I am getting my hair cut!

TODAY WAS SO EXCELLENT!

last night i dreamt that i hit a deer with my car

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

My phone's battery and memory is shot. I don't have a functioning phone anymore!! My parents are going to kill me. It's so damn ironic too, because hours earlier I told Heather that it had survived a fall from a chair lift, and being left on the C-Train. UGH! And plus, right before it dropped into the water, I thought, "It'll be ok in my pocket, it won't fall out." Well GUESS WHAT.

Yesterday was pretty fun in general. Heather and I just hung out around TD. And we got our eyebrows waxed. Why Heather said it would be fun, I have no idea. But anyways, it wasn't too bad, but it was just weird for me to do that kind of stuff in public. We headed down to the island and met up with Abbey after, and had to wait at the gate for half an hour. God it was hot yesterday! We got a pretty good spot, though; right up front, by the speakers. The bass was so loud, it vibrated in my chest!

The two acts I was looking forward to yesterday were Final Fantasy and Neko Case. And holy GOD they were good! It just blew me away. I'm going to see them both today again, so that'll be awesome! Too bad I don't have a phone. Fuck.

Oh, and I just have to say, if you make plans to meet up with someone at 12 in the morning, you better fucking turn on your phone. Or at least call them. Because that was just the shitty what happened at the end of last night.

release the stars

Wow, yesterday was fun! I was on plate recycling for the most part of the day. They put me at the hospitality tent, which was badge access only. It was a really easy job; people gave me two bucks, and they'd get their own plate. The best part, though, is that performers would eat at the hospitality tent too, so I got to briefly meet with Rufus Wainwright and his band, The Cape May, someone from Neko Case's band, someone from the Squirrel Nut Zippers, and a whole lot of other people. Oh, and I got an autograph from Dallas Green while they were just sitting in the tent, because I was accompanying a girl who did want his autograph. And Leah Miller's. She's actually nicer than on air. But yeah, it was weird because I didn't even ask for an autograph, and I don't even listen to City And Colour. Anyways.

I managed to get off in time to watch Rufus Wainwright. That guy was awesome to listen to. It was kind of weird, though, because during sound check when he'd talk, his voice was pretty high, but then he sings and it's a low, full song. It's beautiful, anyways. He's really nice; he waved and smiled at me during plate recycling. Ha, I actually like the fact that I was on shift today. At first I wasn't really digging it, because the hospitality tent is way aways from the main stage, whereas the main recycling plate tent was right at the back of the main stage. It was all worth it. Oh, and The Cape May and I after they returned their plates:

"Bastards!"
"Err ... yeah. Well, I can't wait to see you -" (they start walking away)
"Oh, what? Yeah, you can't wait to see us ... LEAVE!"
And then they left.

I didn't get much sleep last night. For some reason, my mind just wouldn't stop thinking, so every time I tried to fall asleep, something would pop into my head. My younger sister and I finally just went downstairs and watched TV for a while. Then I decided to finish reading Harry Potter. I didn't go to bed until 5:00.

I really hope three hours will be good to function on today. Seeing as I'm going to be out in the heat for most of the day. Ugh. I definitely won't want to crash during Neko Case!