"Is this the end
Or just the start of something really, really beautiful
Wrapped up and disguised
As something really really ugly?"
I got a lot of time to think today. It was really nice day, and I got a really sweet honesty box message. As I was washing the pots, I thought about how all of this really isn't as bad as it seems. I mean, of course it hurts right now, and my heart still feels really heavy. But at least we'll still be friends. We were friends for the other three quarters of the year we knew each other, and it was awesome. We already talked about this a while ago. And just because we're not in a relationship doesn't mean that we can't still talk.
So as I was washing the pots, I realized that I was still on msn, and every so often I wondered if he was talking to me on it. And then another part of me would say, "no. Of course not. He wouldn't talk to you." Even though I really hoped so. I don't know why I really wanted him to talk to me, but it's been like that. At school, I always hope that I run into him in the halls even though that same part tells me that it would only hurt (except I actually did run into him when the bell rang, and I didn't die on the inside). But anyways. I finally finished washing the dishes and when I got back to my computer, he was starting a conversation with me. And we had a good conversation; everything was normal, and I am fine. This is the start of something.
listening to: i wish i was a dog - chad vangaalen
Or just the start of something really, really beautiful
Wrapped up and disguised
As something really really ugly?"
I got a lot of time to think today. It was really nice day, and I got a really sweet honesty box message. As I was washing the pots, I thought about how all of this really isn't as bad as it seems. I mean, of course it hurts right now, and my heart still feels really heavy. But at least we'll still be friends. We were friends for the other three quarters of the year we knew each other, and it was awesome. We already talked about this a while ago. And just because we're not in a relationship doesn't mean that we can't still talk.
So as I was washing the pots, I realized that I was still on msn, and every so often I wondered if he was talking to me on it. And then another part of me would say, "no. Of course not. He wouldn't talk to you." Even though I really hoped so. I don't know why I really wanted him to talk to me, but it's been like that. At school, I always hope that I run into him in the halls even though that same part tells me that it would only hurt (except I actually did run into him when the bell rang, and I didn't die on the inside). But anyways. I finally finished washing the dishes and when I got back to my computer, he was starting a conversation with me. And we had a good conversation; everything was normal, and I am fine. This is the start of something.
listening to: i wish i was a dog - chad vangaalen
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