don't get offended if i seem absent minded

I really wish that our guys and girls would've won yesterday, but I'm still really proud of our teams and I think that they both played extremely well.  I watched with Nancy, Mikki, Alison, and Bonnie, and it was a lot of fun.  The guys' game was extremely exhilarating, and my throat was pretty much bleeding after because Aberhart fans cheered so loudly to beat the Bowness fans.  We definitely were more united with our cheering.  After the game, I went to Mikki's house and had dinner.  Gavin, Kevin, and Alex came over an hour and a half later, and then Tess and Ciaran came.  We all went into the hot tub and had some conversations.  The hot tub made me feel so extremely sleepy, but it was nice just listening to everyone talk. 

Today I slept into until twelve, which felt really nice because I haven't done that in a while.  Today was more of a hang around the house kind of day, and it wasn't too bad.  I'm starting to learn how to play the clarinet.  So far I can play from F to B flat chromatically.  We're going to have roast beef for dinner, and it smells so good right now that my brain is drooling.

Last night was really good for the sole fact that Mikki and I had a really good heart to heart that I don't usually have on a daily basis.  She is just so easy to relate to, and I love listening to her talk, and talking to her.  For the past week my heart has felt so heavy, and it always feels like if I hit a problem anytime soon, I'm just going to lose it and burst into tears.  I'm not even sure why this is.  I'm trying pretty hard to move on, and to convince myself that now is not the time for what I want, but I guess I just have a small sense of jealousy that seems to kick in without me even wanting it to.  I don't want to be jealous.  I don't want to feel like I need him.  It just always comes lurking in the corner of my mind and infects all of my thoughts.  My life right now feels like oil on water; all of the great things in my life are there, but only floating on my crappy feelings.  I need a really, really big hug.