hoping that you'll come back to see me

There are some good things going in my life right now. Finding out that we're going to Germany for band .. holy cow. I can't believe it and I am so excited. This trip is going to be so awesome! I've never been outside of North America, and the fact that I'm going with my friends is wicked. I am doing pretty well in school, which is good because it's only a month in. I'm studying and working hard, and even in chemistry when I think I'm doing stuff wrong, I'm still getting it and I guess I do understand! Last night I went to Megan's house for a movie party, and it was a lot of fun. We watched Death at a Funeral first, because a bunch of us didn't want to watch a scary movie, and it was so ridiculous. I laughed so hard. It was really noisy because there were so many of us but none the less it was sweet. Ramon is such a funny guy. After that movie ended, we spent fifteen minutes trying to figure out if the majority of us wanted to watch the scary movie or not, but nobody was really listening and people were throwing orange peels at other people, so we finally just told Megan to pop in the scary movie. It was One Missed Call, and it was ridiculous and not scary at all. We spent the whole time making fun of everything that happened, especially at the really "scary" parts. It was just all cliche and stuff. After that, we kinda just hung out in her basement, and Cole and I pinned Mikki down and tickled her so badly. Then Cole played a game where we see how many times Megan would flinch (every time). It ways a good night. I actually hadn't hung out with people in a while, until yesterday.

Tonight I'm going to Feist, and I'm so excited! I'm going with my sisters and we have floor seats, and I've been waiting for this day for so long because I LOVE Feist! I'm supposed to be studying for math or working on my essay outline for social studies, but I haven't done either. Lately I've been going into some kind of relapse. Getting over this has been actually so hard, and every time I think I'm alright, I get all bipolar and my mind starts working against me. Some days hurt almost as much as the first day. I've been racking my brain with so many reasons why this is all alright, but then so many memories pop up that make me forget all of them. I am so happy the majority of the time, but it's the short minutes in between that really scar my heart.