What a crappy week this has been. There have been way too many tests, and too much stress that's been going on. I should have studied last night, but instead I took a evening long break because of my essay and test on Monday. I woke up at five this morning for no reason, and I ended up staying up, thinking about all of the things that are hurting me. I was never prepared to feel this way. I stretched my arms wide open and fell backwards. The landing just winded me, and now I'm feeling the aftermath. It's all happening in pieces, so all the tiny pieces just cut into the worst spots. Things are turning up and going down all at the same time, and I never know what I'm feeling because it's just a pool of mess. I am a mess. I can't go through all of this by myself. I thought I was strong enough, but really I am weak and self conscious. I'm tired and lost and so sick of being myself.
Tomorrow I leave for choir camp, and we'll see what happens there.
listening to: how my heart behaves - feist
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