death is absolutely safe

Do you ever wonder what thoughts sound like in your head? Like, it's never like in the movies, where when you read a letter from someone you hear their voice. At least that doesn't happen to me. And when I think I don't hear my own voice. Maybe it's because you're not actually listening to anything, because it's already in your head. How do you hear things that don't go through your ears? Anyways. I was just thinking about that before I went to sleep last night.

I hung out with Gavin last night. We watched I Am Legend. That movie drives me a bit crazy, because I could never tell if a zombie was going to pop up or not so I was stressed about that the entire time. But other than that, it was pretty good. We couldn't find the alternate ending, so instead we stayed on his couch and talked about a lot of random things. He wouldn't let me kiss him because he was sick. After we played ping pong until my dad called to tell me that he was going to pick me up. And then we tried to play more, but Gavin was going a bit crazy so he rested his head on my lap and we talked some more. The night before he helped me realize why I wasn't talkative all week; because I'm scared of the future and of university and of failing and losing. But not really, anymore. People make mistakes, and things will fall together, and I have him to help me through all of this, which is absolutely the one thing I need.

listening to: the last page - emily haines & the soft skeleton