kids don't know shit

I wish thoughts could exist in my mind, they're always coming and going, and they never last. I don't ever have any good thoughts anymore. I miss it. I used to be able to string things together easily, and now it's all just a big mess of superficial ideas that don't mean anything. And whenever I actually try to write anything meaningful it just sounds cliche. I wish I was a songwriter. I wish I was actually good at golf. I wish I was good at something. Things like life and future are easier to decide when you have something going for you, that's what was determined yesterday on the ride home. Nothing's going for me, though. I'm mediocre at best and nobody wants mediocre.

And I know it's selfish, but sometimes I just want to hang out with only you. I love our friends, and playing Pictionary and the strange car rides home, but I just really love it when you kiss me.

listening to: life in jail - islands