checkmate checkmate!

It honestly irritates me when people set their Facebook statuses to announce to everybody that they did extremely well on their diploma exams.  I don't know why, but it's almost as if somebody is just rubbing it into everyone else's faces that they did better than anybody else.  Are you expecting people to congratulate you for beating them?  

I wish I did better on my diplomas, because I studied so extremely hard.  These marks are basically telling me the limits of my abilities.  I wish I was better, but I always wish I was better.  Right now, accepting the marks I have feels like accepting mediocrity.  I'm pretty sure I got the lowest mark on my diploma out of everyone else in my chem AP class (but then again, they all probably got in the range of 97-100%), which doesn't feel great.  Speaking of chem AP, it's pretty stressful.  I have my first unit exam tomorrow, and I'm not sure how prepared I am for it.  I think it's going to go terribly wrong.  I am almost considering dropping the class, because I don't need it for university.  Also, if I drop it, then it would give me time to learn calculus AP, which would be beneficial in university.  It's conflicting, because I really love being in that class.  And I can't say no to everyone.  It's just that in this case, there are people telling me to drop it, and people telling me not to.  And I don't know who to listen to.  Chem AP isn't turning out the way I thought it was going to, and right now I don't have enough time to work hard at it.  I need to focus on English and Math 31, because those are the marks I need to get the scholarship.  I guess this class is kind of like a free one; it doesn't really matter what happens in it, kind of like in bio last year.  I'm uneasy about how great this class is going to be, though.  

This weekend has been pretty weird.  Last night I felt pretty shitty.  I'm such a dick sometimes.  I really tried to study chem for most of the weekend, but it's been going slower than I thought it would.  I don't want to go to school tomorrow.

listening to:  lloyd i'm ready to be heartbroken - camera obscura