Today did not feel like a good day. It wasn't a terribly bad day, but right now I have a headache, I just finished my chemistry homework and I am really tired. And it just feels like a lot of things sucked.
Band was boring today, which was disappointing because we played Do Not Go Gentle the entire time. I guess it's nice to listen to the whole band play, but it's not when you listen to the same part ten times and you don't get to play for forty five minutes. And you count every single bar to make sure you don't get lost only to get stopped two bars before you come in. And when Mr. Willms is glaring down all of the percussionists because they are still idiots who don't know how to be quiet or not chew gum. Honestly. Anyways, it wasn't very fun.
I walked into English, almost late, only to realize that we were having a vocabulary test that I totally forgot about. It was really lucky that I (really lightly) reviewed the vocabulary words, and that they were matching, or else I would have been so screwed. We started Othello today and I'm going to have to get started on my ABC's, which is going to be a killer project that I realized I would probably have to finish earlier than I thought because I won't have spring break to do it, pretty much. And there's like a bajillion other things to do in English during then. And I just realized that I have to do a written piece in class tomorrow, and I have seminar.
Math was okay, because it's never too confusing once you realize what Kotow is talking about. But during then, I was talking to Susan and Sarah about how I'm not really taking chem AP for any reason at all, and they almost persuaded me to drop it. If I dropped chem AP, I could use my spare to study calculus AP, which would be more useful for university since I'm taking math-based courses and no chemistry courses at all. Plus, chemistry AP is stressing me out so badly, and I don't know why I don't understand any of the concepts. It's like if I'm staring at everything, I see the formula but it just doesn't connect. Which is weird, because last semester everything made so much sense to me. I don't know what happened that made me lose so much confidence in myself, and in the fact that I am (or was) good at chemistry. I finally struggled through my chemistry homework, and I still have to go to tutorials tomorrow to ask for help still. I told my friends in my chem AP class that I was considering dropping it, and they all tried to persuade me not to. And Schrottner called me the "ray of sunshine" in our class, and told me to just hang on and keep fighting through. And I want to fight through; I really hate giving up. But it's just so hard and it feels like I'm barely staying afloat right now. Maybe I just need to fix my study habits and discipline myself.
I started driving lessons today. It's just the in-class lessons though, so they are pretty boring. I think my instructor is from India, and sometimes you can't even understand what he's saying. He also has long chest hair. And he makes us all read aloud from the powerpoint or the book, and I already made a fool of myself twice. I made a friend, though. The girl who was sitting beside me was very nice, and she goes to Bowness, and we had a conversation about band and travel and school. Oh, and before I went, my mom deep-fried pork for dinner so I reeked of Chinese food. I felt really bad for everyone sitting around me because even I was getting a headache. Yikes.
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