sick

I remember a time when I used to have to refrain from blogging more than once a day. Now I'm struggling to blog once a month. But this is the time when I need to remember what's going on! This is the prime of my life ... I think. It feels like it should be. Nobody really uses Blogger, though. Maybe I need an audience because really, even though I'm just so super self conscious, sometimes I just like attention. I'm pretty hypocritical. I think about these things in my mind, about the kind of people annoy me and then I realize that these people are me, from a previous time. I'm growing up and away, and I don't know how I feel about this. I miss when I used to have thoughts just flowing through my mind all the time. Now I'm just lazy. Lazy and tired. I told myself that I'd go to bed at 10:30 tonight because I always stay up way too late to be alright for school the next day, but it never happens. Well I am going to write this and then go to bed.

I'm just going to do a short recap of what's been going on: I went to Final Fantasy last night, I was a little skeptical about going because I already saw him in June and I'm sick and I'm really, really busy this week but then the thought that it was FINAL FANTASY overruled. And thank goodness, he was absolutely amazing. He's the kind of guy who you need to stare at, because he is so beautiful, and because his sound is so beautiful, and the fact that he's doing a million and one things at once up on that stage just leaves you in so much awe. I can't wait for his new album, it is going to be so great. All of his songs are fantastic. Umm besides that I went to the clinic today to get diagnosed with a bad cold, which is good because at least it's only a bad cold, but bad because it's a bad cold. Sometimes I think colds are the worst because all you can do really is wait it out while you have a stuffy nose and a sore throat. And that's just the worst because it is so freaking uncomfortable. I didn't go to school today. I just sat at my desk with my blanket and studied, which is good because I actually think I got a lot more done than if I went to my classes. Except hopefully I'm not too far behind in math. Things I did today: one chapter for archaeology, calculus review, most of my linear algebra questions, and just the slightest bit of studying for anthropology. Then I called it a day and watched all of my TV shows. I'm hoping that this one day of rest was good for me, seeing as I've been busy every single other day and my weekends aren't really weekends anymore .. well they are but I'm not at home and I'm still super busy and stressed. Golf is sucking right now. Well the people aren't but my game is. It's really frustrating. I need to get better or I'm just going to be really depressed. Um but yeah I just want to get better so that I at least do not feel like uttermost crap in Idaho, and I don't cause every single one of my teammates to catch my cold. We're sharing a bus for eight hours, you know.

So yeah .. 10:36. I guess I'll go to bed. The things on my to-do list feel like they are never getting checked off. Like if I'm always doing work but it's never going away. I guess I just got to keep my head down and grind it out. I need to work hard. I need to earn this.

I think life is good?

listening to: took you two years to win my heart - final fantasy

let's hug it out

I really enjoy being on the golf team. This weekend was really fun, despite the fact that I am still playing kinda shitty and my throat feels like it's swollen to twice its size. It is painful. But anyways .. one of the guys' birthdays was on Saturday, so after our round we got ready and headed out first to a pub called Mojo's (we were in Lethbridge, by the way) to watch the preseason hockey game. Kenny just kept getting shot after shot after shot. We estimated that he drank probably fifteen. Tim got Katie and me (since we are rookies) "initiation shots" that tasted like candy. He then bought us each another drink. Mine was a double vodka with lime .. which was pretty good. That plus the shot plus a previous shot beforehand made me kind of tipsy. After we paid our massive bill and Kenny puked on the ground, Lauren, Blake, Katie, Ashley, and I went to the McDonald's drive-thru to get some food. We ended up sitting on a bench in the lobby chowing down. Blake or Ashley found a random bag of chips in a bed of flowers so we ate some of those. After the McFlurries, cheeseburgers, and fries were finished, we went to the club in our hotel. It was such a blast .. we were dancing, and a couple of the guys bought us two more shots (one was pretty gross with cinnamon in it). Tim kept yelling at me that I was the shit. Katie and I headed back to the hotel at one in the morning, I downed five glasses of water, and woke up fine. My game was slightly better but I really need to improve. Honestly. Katie and I got driven home by Blake with Kenny, and they kept picking up on random parts of our conversations, which were already really random. It was a blast.

So yeah .. that plus the fact that the girls think the things I say are hilarious make me like them a lot. Hopefully I go to Idaho next weekend because it's so much fun being around them.

while you wait for the others

I guess now that I'm eighteen, I'm discovering that I'm not the biggest fan of clubs, or of drinking. It is probably because of the fact that I am Asian, therefore cheap. And clubs and drinks are expensive. But anyways. Lots of my friends are finding it weird that I didn't get drunk on my birthday, and that I have not gotten drunk ever, but maybe it's nicer this way. I am much more introverted than I thought.

Also, I met a cute guy yesterday, who kept smiling and saying hi to me at golf tryouts. And then, just out of chance, he was sitting in my computer science lecture all alone. I was so choked when we realized that he was supposed to be in the room next door; I didn't even get to know his name!

But, I'm keeping my hopes up. We're in neighboring lecture rooms on Fridays at the least. And hopefully he made the golf team as well! A nice engineer-golfer-boy who wears skinny pants and has a really great smile and is super nice .. how often does that come along?