how is school going?

I surf the internet and play Wacky Wheels in archaeology, but I still go to class because of Bronwyn. I can't understand my TA for computer science very well, and it's hard for me to concentrate during tutorials. I feel like I have no clue how to do calculus when my professor teaches it. I like learning linear algebra, but the homework assignments are confusing and I spend a lot of time trying to teach my friend how to do it. During lectures I always drift in and out of sleep for minutes at a time. I like my anthropology professor, and he makes learning about monkeys pretty interesting. I have fallen asleep numerous times in my computer science lecture, and I haven't read the online textbook since the beginning of the semester. I leave my computer science assignments until two days before it is due, and then I email my TA for help and panic.

I spend breaks in between class hanging out with people and not studying. When I have breaks where I don't find anybody, I end up going on the internet instead of doing anything productive, like finishing homework or studying (even though finals are only a week and a half away). When I go home and go on the internet (yet again), or I play Rock Band with my siblings.

My work ethic is definitely all wrong for university. I find it extremely hard to sit down and study. For example, I currently have my archeology textbook open in front of me. I have read three pages in the past half an hour. I never go to bed before 11:30, even though I really want to go to sleep at 10 since I am sleepy all the time. I get a lot of help from other people. I'm not doing terrible in any of my classes, but I'm not doing the best and it's weird, because during the past twelve years of my education, I always tried to be the best.

listening to: maybe sparrow - neko case

the way i see it

Sometimes I wish my heart would just explode so I wouldn't have to deal with all these feelings anymore. I am still in love with you but I don't want to be! I don't want to care about you anymore, because you don't care about me. I'm in the worst bind, between wanting to see you all the time, or wanting to completely ignore you. Most of the time I choose the latter, because that's just the way I am. I am so sick of being reminded of how good we used to be, but when you told me you thought those letters were incredible, that made me feel good about myself. Stop confusing me! Stop making this all so much harder!

You made your choice a year and three months ago. You can't expect me to be the same person I was way back then. I'm trying harder and harder not to care if you miss me or not, because you let me go. You didn't want me! And now I don't want you.

things that are irritating

1. How often the phrase "poorly understood" was used in a chapter of my archaeology textbook. Seriously, you couldn't think of any other way to say that? You, sir, are a great author.
2. Emails from people in my anthropology class asking for notes. In my English class in grade twelve, we all had to have homework buddies who we would ask about things we missed. Make a friend and just exchange notes amongst yourselves! I don't want to send you my non-existent notes and I don't want emails asking for them! The worst is when they ask you about dates for exams, or what chapters exams will be on. Everything is posted, look it up yourselves!
3. Computer science assignments
4. Contacts. They irritate my eyes.
5. People who talk in my calculus class. The professor is already really quiet, I don't need you talking about non-math-related things when I am already struggling with understanding what she is saying.

I stayed up until three in the morning last night studying calculus, and the quiz was super easy and that sucked a little. I still need to learn how to prioritize and focus on school. I'm hoping that the anthropology test went alright, please please please be at least 80! During my math lab I talked to Cailey on Skype, I miss her a lot! We have plans to go to a pub and eat wings and drink cheap beer.

School is really stressful, and there are so many things going on at once that most of the time I feel like I can't handle it. I am really scared that I won't be able to do my computer science assignment. I need to stick to my plan and work on it for an hour before the tutorial tomorrow. And then my TA can discuss it and hopefully give me some idea as to how to do it. And if all else fails, I'll ask Bronwyn's friend and pray that this all works out.

I really can't wait for Christmas break.

listening to: love is simple - akron/family

a good long break

I spent the whole day trying to memorize primate taxonomy. Sportive lemurs are in the subfamily Lepilemurinae, family Lemuridae, superfamily Lemuroidea, infraorder Lemuriformes, suborder Prosimii. WHAT NOW!

Anyways, I'm heading out to Vinyl to get my party on. You know what I hate? Cover!! That's ten bucks that I could spend on beer. Sad face.

ONLY FORTY ONE MORE DAYS?

Exciting!

listening to: twilight galaxy - metric

daily things

Last night I went to see Said The Whale with Lindsay and Sarah. This evening I went to the Just For Laughs show with Bronwyn and Sheila. Said The Whale was really good, I enjoyed the harmonizing. Just For Laughs was hilarious, I couldn't stop smiling. I guess I finally have to buckle down and start studying for my calculus midterm. Which, might I add, is on Monday. Yikes!