lucy in the sky with diamonds

I got my braces off on Wednesday, and then went to a party that night. Not going to lie, I felt pretty great .. the lack of braces + no glasses + wearing a dress and makeup really did wonders. It was a fun night! I talked to a lot of people I haven't seen in a while, and Riley and I spent a lot of time just sitting on the couch and talking about anything. What an easy conversation! I really miss that. On Christmas Eve, I just hung around the house a lot. After church, my siblings and I played Settlers of Catan before going to bed. My younger sister and I watched New Moon on my laptop at two in the morning, until I was way too tired to keep my eyes open. That movie was so boring I had to go to sleep halfway through it! Anyway. Christmas was as good as Christmas can get. My older sister got me a cardigan and a necklace, my parents and grandparents and aunt got me money, my brother got me mint chocolate, and my younger sister got me five non-judge cards and a disposable camera. We played a lot of Beatles Rock Band (that game rules!) and then headed off to my aunt's house for Christmas dinner with all of my cousins. During dinner my cousins kept refilling my glass of wine. After that, we played Taboo, guys versus girls and it was hilarious. My brother is pretty good at it! Then our moms made us take a family picture on the stairs, which was a gong show. We then all played Beatles Rock Band and it was crazy! It was so weird to hear all of your cousins belting out Come Together, and everything like that. But I loved it. I also love when all my cousins get together and do something as a unit, kind of like when we were little and all played basketball during the summer. What good times.

Yesterday I went out shopping on 17th Ave with my younger sister. We got some stuff from American Apparel, and then we went to Purr and everything was 50% off! We both got winter jackets. I helped her get eight dollars refunded when they accidentally overcharged for her jacket. We met up with my older sister after and shopped again at Purr, and then went to Farm for a quick dessert. I went to Amelia's house after dinner to hang out with Cailey, Mikki, Tess, and Amelia and to catch up. We played a Harry Potter trivia game and then just talked a lot. I found out some stuff about them I really didn't expect! When I got home, my sisters all hung out in my older sister's room and talked for like two hours. Which was really nice. I love my sisters and they are so hilarious and honest. This Christmas break rules.

well someone's a little cocky

I don't feel drunk right now but I kind of am, well my head feels really heavy and I keep misspelling things. Except the spell check red squiggly line always pops up so my writing is a lot more intelligent than I am right now. I had a fish bowl, Irish car bomb, bottle cap, and one and a half beers tonight. I should be called the champ because I am the champ at chugging drinks. Seriously. It was so much fun tonight seeing everyone again! I did a lot of yelling. And high fiving. That car bomb wasn't as bad as the waitress made it out to be! But yeah. Secret Santa was really fun too, I got a nice gift from Paul; an American Apparel sweater and the CD I put on my wishlist. Except the sweater is a little too big, so I"m going to exchange it for a different size. Maybe a different style, I'm not sure yet. Anyway. Today was a good day, from going shopping with my sister to making cookies at Kim's house, to the hot pot and gift exchange to the bar. Life has been really really good lately! And I think they'll just keep on coming!

i have the equipment for that

I went out for tea with Jessica today, it was the first time I've seen her since the second week of September! We had a good long talk about drinking adventures and just random stuff in general. I love hanging out with her! I don't know why, but I always worry that we won't have anything to talk about, and every time I'm wrong. She is just such a great person.

After we went into some stores in Kensington, and talked to Sheila while she was working, I headed back to the train station and met up with Grace to go to Kim's house for our Disney marathon. We watched Toy Story! And The Grinch Who Stole Christmas! Then we popped open the sparkling wine Bonnie brought outside in her backyard, because we shook the bottle just to pop the cork. It was freezing outside, but so beautiful. We had some drinks, Bonnie showed off her Asian glow, and then we watched 101 Dalmations and finished it off with The Lion King. Although we didn't get to finish either, because we spent some time talking about what's been going on with everyone. Which was totally fine, I loved it either way. I got home and found out that my anthro prof changed the grade distribution so my former B+ is actually an A-! I was so happy! I've got another busy day tomorrow, so I guess I'll head off to bed because it is already almost 1:00?! Crazy.

nom nom nom

I went over to Sheila's house today to get together with Natalie, Sheila, Amanda, Bronwyn, and Mikki for the first time since September. That's a long time to not see your best friends! But it was so much fun! It was very comfortable, like a cozy blanket you pull out when it's cold outside. Anyway. We went out to the Christmas lights in Confederation Park to take pictures. It was very cold. Mikki wiped out in the snow twice. The batteries in my camera died pretty fast. We stood in teepees lined with Christmas lights and spun around while staring at the top of them, causing extreme dizziness and lots of crashing and falling. We headed back to Sheila's house and ate corn dogs and drank hot chocolate. We took cheesy Christmas portraits, and then Sheila's dad let us use his D3000 so we had a lot of fun taking modelesque photos. I love taking pictures, and nice cameras, man oh man.

I can't believe how soon Christmas is coming up! I'm so glad I am done all of my exams, it's nice to not have to worry about that kind of stuff.

listening to: many lives -> 49 mp (live) - owen pallet*

it's so weird that it's now under Owen Pallett, instead of Final Fantasy! It's crazy!

trying to keep this alive

I think I have some stuff I want to remember, so I'm going to write it down here.

Yesterday I went with Mikki to Kaffa, and we stood at the door awkwardly waiting for Michael Bernard Fitzgerald to come meet us. That was a fun hour! He bought us tea/hot chocolate and we spent an hour just talking. He is so easy to talk to. I bet if we talked for longer, I would've managed to tell him my entire life story. Embarrassing. Anyway. We talked about university, travelling (Mikki to Asia, him to Australia back in the day), snuggies (for people and dogs), Harry Potter, watching movies by yourself, Tiger Woods, driving bands in vans, cameras, Beatles Rock Band and video games, working, tight jeans, yogurt, and probably a lot more that I can't remember anymore. He is a really nice guy. I then went home and really tried to study, but I just kept getting distracted. I stayed up until three in the morning trying to remember stuff about primates.

I don't want to remember what happened today. My finals ... aren't going too great. It's disappointing.

listening to: this city's a mess - said the whale

i'm allison,

I over think things to the point that they infect my dreams. I am terrified of awkward situations and falling down stairs. I appreciate people who make conversations easy. I also appreciate good hugs. If I love a song, I will play it 80 times in a row and still love it. My favourite thing in life is photography. I also golf, and I still like Tiger Woods. When I say I love you I mean it, and when you break my heart it hurts a lot. I've had a lot of people walk in and out of my life, so I find it hard to trust people. Sometimes I'm not even sure if I trust myself anymore. Sometimes I have no idea what I'm feeling. There are certain songs that will make me want to cry. I don't know what my life is turning out to be, but I guess nobody knows. I should be studying for my anthropology/calculus finals tomorrow, but I am a procrastinator. I can remember very specific points of my life, and sometimes it disappoints me when the person I share the memory with doesn't remember. I am an awkward person and I'm not really sure why anyone is friends with me. The end.

listening to: suzie (i love you) - michael bernard fitzgerald

weird stuff

I've been having weird dreams lately. Well, I don't really think they're dreams .. they are more like conversations with people that parallel reality but aren't actually true. I had a conversation with Cailey via text messages, even though a) my phone wasn't turned on and b) I was sleeping. I think she was apologizing for not replying to my text the pervious night. Another dream I had was that I didn't win the photo contest that Michael Bernard Fitzgerald had, and that some guy with a lame photo won instead. Except that he wasn't announcing winners until this evening, and this dream took place this morning. Seriously, brain, what's going on? Is it all the studying? I'm actually doing some, which is a relief because if midterms taught me anything, it's that I procrastinate A LOT and even when I think I'm doing lots, I'm doing nothing. I actually set myself up this time around so I can't access any website that would promote my procrastinating, which has lead to countless hours of studying. Yes! This thought is so run on, but that might be because it's 12:32 am. Also, I tend to think in this way. I had my computer science final this evening, and I really hope it went alright. I didn't have any time to check over because I had just managed to finish writing my program for the second written question. Which I did wrong! Which I didn't really know what I was doing and kinda just wrote something that made sense in my mind but might not make sense in real life! Agh! Computer science is such a hard test to write because over the year you get so use to writing all of your scripts on your computer, and so it catches all of your errors. When you write the actual exam, though, you have to make your brain the computer and process it. Which makes figuring out stuff like recursion hard! And syntax stuff! And even simple math makes me nervous! I just hope that the bell curve really plays on my side, and that I pass this course. If I was really setting my goals up high, I would hope for an A- but that is pretty lofty. I am hoping for A-'s in calc and anthropology, though. And maybe math 211. They are pretty doable. I need: an 85 on my calc final, a 90 on my anthro, and probably an 85 on my linear algebra exam. This weekend is going to be hardcore! Non-stop studying for two subjects at once, and then a three hour review session at the university to hopefully help me understand what the heck is going on with derivatives and integration! Because honestly, even though I understood it all no problem last year, my professor likes to take crazy numbers and transform them like nothin' cause it somehow works! And I don't know why! So hopefully this helps me out. I scraped a 72 on my calc midterm with pretty much no studying, so I feel like 85 is attainable. Nay, 90 is attainable! I'm going to ace this stinkin' test! There are a lot of exclamation points going on in this ridiculously long, run on paragraph. Anyway. I also need to maximize my studying tomorrow (which is actually today, because it is 12:39 am .. seriously. I am bad at going to bed early.) because on Sunday, I'm going to go have tea with Mikalina and Michael Bernard Fitzgerald. Because I did win that photo contest! Well, top five. I wonder how many people actually entered that contest ... actually no I don't. Well I do. I'm also wondering if the other winners will be in on this tea date too, because that'd be weird. Also, I am nervous for this encounter. I'm bad at not being awkward, and I'm scared of awkward situations. What is going to happen?! I don't know! I hope that I am charming and I present myself in a non-stupid manner. Maybe we will become friends! That would be fun. I feel bad for not owning any of his CDs .. his concert back at the beginning of the month was really good though! Hmm hmm hmm. Anyway. This is a sad excuse for an update on this blog that I now forget to update. Remember when I used to blog excessively? Nah, you don't. Back then there were two people who always read this blog! Now there are zero!

listening to: gold guns girls - metric

how is school going?

I surf the internet and play Wacky Wheels in archaeology, but I still go to class because of Bronwyn. I can't understand my TA for computer science very well, and it's hard for me to concentrate during tutorials. I feel like I have no clue how to do calculus when my professor teaches it. I like learning linear algebra, but the homework assignments are confusing and I spend a lot of time trying to teach my friend how to do it. During lectures I always drift in and out of sleep for minutes at a time. I like my anthropology professor, and he makes learning about monkeys pretty interesting. I have fallen asleep numerous times in my computer science lecture, and I haven't read the online textbook since the beginning of the semester. I leave my computer science assignments until two days before it is due, and then I email my TA for help and panic.

I spend breaks in between class hanging out with people and not studying. When I have breaks where I don't find anybody, I end up going on the internet instead of doing anything productive, like finishing homework or studying (even though finals are only a week and a half away). When I go home and go on the internet (yet again), or I play Rock Band with my siblings.

My work ethic is definitely all wrong for university. I find it extremely hard to sit down and study. For example, I currently have my archeology textbook open in front of me. I have read three pages in the past half an hour. I never go to bed before 11:30, even though I really want to go to sleep at 10 since I am sleepy all the time. I get a lot of help from other people. I'm not doing terrible in any of my classes, but I'm not doing the best and it's weird, because during the past twelve years of my education, I always tried to be the best.

listening to: maybe sparrow - neko case

the way i see it

Sometimes I wish my heart would just explode so I wouldn't have to deal with all these feelings anymore. I am still in love with you but I don't want to be! I don't want to care about you anymore, because you don't care about me. I'm in the worst bind, between wanting to see you all the time, or wanting to completely ignore you. Most of the time I choose the latter, because that's just the way I am. I am so sick of being reminded of how good we used to be, but when you told me you thought those letters were incredible, that made me feel good about myself. Stop confusing me! Stop making this all so much harder!

You made your choice a year and three months ago. You can't expect me to be the same person I was way back then. I'm trying harder and harder not to care if you miss me or not, because you let me go. You didn't want me! And now I don't want you.

things that are irritating

1. How often the phrase "poorly understood" was used in a chapter of my archaeology textbook. Seriously, you couldn't think of any other way to say that? You, sir, are a great author.
2. Emails from people in my anthropology class asking for notes. In my English class in grade twelve, we all had to have homework buddies who we would ask about things we missed. Make a friend and just exchange notes amongst yourselves! I don't want to send you my non-existent notes and I don't want emails asking for them! The worst is when they ask you about dates for exams, or what chapters exams will be on. Everything is posted, look it up yourselves!
3. Computer science assignments
4. Contacts. They irritate my eyes.
5. People who talk in my calculus class. The professor is already really quiet, I don't need you talking about non-math-related things when I am already struggling with understanding what she is saying.

I stayed up until three in the morning last night studying calculus, and the quiz was super easy and that sucked a little. I still need to learn how to prioritize and focus on school. I'm hoping that the anthropology test went alright, please please please be at least 80! During my math lab I talked to Cailey on Skype, I miss her a lot! We have plans to go to a pub and eat wings and drink cheap beer.

School is really stressful, and there are so many things going on at once that most of the time I feel like I can't handle it. I am really scared that I won't be able to do my computer science assignment. I need to stick to my plan and work on it for an hour before the tutorial tomorrow. And then my TA can discuss it and hopefully give me some idea as to how to do it. And if all else fails, I'll ask Bronwyn's friend and pray that this all works out.

I really can't wait for Christmas break.

listening to: love is simple - akron/family

a good long break

I spent the whole day trying to memorize primate taxonomy. Sportive lemurs are in the subfamily Lepilemurinae, family Lemuridae, superfamily Lemuroidea, infraorder Lemuriformes, suborder Prosimii. WHAT NOW!

Anyways, I'm heading out to Vinyl to get my party on. You know what I hate? Cover!! That's ten bucks that I could spend on beer. Sad face.

ONLY FORTY ONE MORE DAYS?

Exciting!

listening to: twilight galaxy - metric

daily things

Last night I went to see Said The Whale with Lindsay and Sarah. This evening I went to the Just For Laughs show with Bronwyn and Sheila. Said The Whale was really good, I enjoyed the harmonizing. Just For Laughs was hilarious, I couldn't stop smiling. I guess I finally have to buckle down and start studying for my calculus midterm. Which, might I add, is on Monday. Yikes!

supersonic

I still think about you all the time, I still love you. Those words still feel so real.

sick

I remember a time when I used to have to refrain from blogging more than once a day. Now I'm struggling to blog once a month. But this is the time when I need to remember what's going on! This is the prime of my life ... I think. It feels like it should be. Nobody really uses Blogger, though. Maybe I need an audience because really, even though I'm just so super self conscious, sometimes I just like attention. I'm pretty hypocritical. I think about these things in my mind, about the kind of people annoy me and then I realize that these people are me, from a previous time. I'm growing up and away, and I don't know how I feel about this. I miss when I used to have thoughts just flowing through my mind all the time. Now I'm just lazy. Lazy and tired. I told myself that I'd go to bed at 10:30 tonight because I always stay up way too late to be alright for school the next day, but it never happens. Well I am going to write this and then go to bed.

I'm just going to do a short recap of what's been going on: I went to Final Fantasy last night, I was a little skeptical about going because I already saw him in June and I'm sick and I'm really, really busy this week but then the thought that it was FINAL FANTASY overruled. And thank goodness, he was absolutely amazing. He's the kind of guy who you need to stare at, because he is so beautiful, and because his sound is so beautiful, and the fact that he's doing a million and one things at once up on that stage just leaves you in so much awe. I can't wait for his new album, it is going to be so great. All of his songs are fantastic. Umm besides that I went to the clinic today to get diagnosed with a bad cold, which is good because at least it's only a bad cold, but bad because it's a bad cold. Sometimes I think colds are the worst because all you can do really is wait it out while you have a stuffy nose and a sore throat. And that's just the worst because it is so freaking uncomfortable. I didn't go to school today. I just sat at my desk with my blanket and studied, which is good because I actually think I got a lot more done than if I went to my classes. Except hopefully I'm not too far behind in math. Things I did today: one chapter for archaeology, calculus review, most of my linear algebra questions, and just the slightest bit of studying for anthropology. Then I called it a day and watched all of my TV shows. I'm hoping that this one day of rest was good for me, seeing as I've been busy every single other day and my weekends aren't really weekends anymore .. well they are but I'm not at home and I'm still super busy and stressed. Golf is sucking right now. Well the people aren't but my game is. It's really frustrating. I need to get better or I'm just going to be really depressed. Um but yeah I just want to get better so that I at least do not feel like uttermost crap in Idaho, and I don't cause every single one of my teammates to catch my cold. We're sharing a bus for eight hours, you know.

So yeah .. 10:36. I guess I'll go to bed. The things on my to-do list feel like they are never getting checked off. Like if I'm always doing work but it's never going away. I guess I just got to keep my head down and grind it out. I need to work hard. I need to earn this.

I think life is good?

listening to: took you two years to win my heart - final fantasy

let's hug it out

I really enjoy being on the golf team. This weekend was really fun, despite the fact that I am still playing kinda shitty and my throat feels like it's swollen to twice its size. It is painful. But anyways .. one of the guys' birthdays was on Saturday, so after our round we got ready and headed out first to a pub called Mojo's (we were in Lethbridge, by the way) to watch the preseason hockey game. Kenny just kept getting shot after shot after shot. We estimated that he drank probably fifteen. Tim got Katie and me (since we are rookies) "initiation shots" that tasted like candy. He then bought us each another drink. Mine was a double vodka with lime .. which was pretty good. That plus the shot plus a previous shot beforehand made me kind of tipsy. After we paid our massive bill and Kenny puked on the ground, Lauren, Blake, Katie, Ashley, and I went to the McDonald's drive-thru to get some food. We ended up sitting on a bench in the lobby chowing down. Blake or Ashley found a random bag of chips in a bed of flowers so we ate some of those. After the McFlurries, cheeseburgers, and fries were finished, we went to the club in our hotel. It was such a blast .. we were dancing, and a couple of the guys bought us two more shots (one was pretty gross with cinnamon in it). Tim kept yelling at me that I was the shit. Katie and I headed back to the hotel at one in the morning, I downed five glasses of water, and woke up fine. My game was slightly better but I really need to improve. Honestly. Katie and I got driven home by Blake with Kenny, and they kept picking up on random parts of our conversations, which were already really random. It was a blast.

So yeah .. that plus the fact that the girls think the things I say are hilarious make me like them a lot. Hopefully I go to Idaho next weekend because it's so much fun being around them.

while you wait for the others

I guess now that I'm eighteen, I'm discovering that I'm not the biggest fan of clubs, or of drinking. It is probably because of the fact that I am Asian, therefore cheap. And clubs and drinks are expensive. But anyways. Lots of my friends are finding it weird that I didn't get drunk on my birthday, and that I have not gotten drunk ever, but maybe it's nicer this way. I am much more introverted than I thought.

Also, I met a cute guy yesterday, who kept smiling and saying hi to me at golf tryouts. And then, just out of chance, he was sitting in my computer science lecture all alone. I was so choked when we realized that he was supposed to be in the room next door; I didn't even get to know his name!

But, I'm keeping my hopes up. We're in neighboring lecture rooms on Fridays at the least. And hopefully he made the golf team as well! A nice engineer-golfer-boy who wears skinny pants and has a really great smile and is super nice .. how often does that come along?

it always hurts

You say you've been waiting to hang out with me all summer, but you have a girlfriend and I'm really nobody. Plus, you don't even remember when my birthday is and that was the last time you really loved me (well this might not even be true) before you broke my heart. I call bullshit.

just because

I deleted over two hundreds friends because hardly know most of them, or never communicate with them on Facebook, deleted countless of statuses because they now sounded stupid, deleted over forty videos and hundreds of photo albums because they are irrelevant and redundant and there are just too many

and because my sisters told me that it makes me seem obnoxious.

note to self

1. "I want a piece of chicken with a lot of barbecue sauce. Oh wait, I'm wearing white." I then wore a paper napkin around my neck and covered my shorts with the table cloth. I'm just dripping with class.
2. Alana said that she was going to get a glass of pop, so I asked for one as well. She returned with an empty glass.
3. When my name was announced for winning second low gross in my flight, they pronounced my name "Alyssa Set-o". When they were taking a picture of us, they were trying to get us to stand closer and Alana yelled, "c'mon, squish in there Alyssa!" It took me a while to realize she was talking to me.
4. There was a paper trimmer in the middle of all of the prizes on the table, and immediately I knew I wanted that to be my prize. When they finally got around to the draw prize, the second girl who went up took the paper trimmer. I was the third. My friends laughed so hard at me. When the girl realized I actually wanted the paper trimmer, she traded her prize for mine, so I got the paper trimmer. "I am going to trim SO much paper with this!" Then a lady came up and told me that it wasn't actually a prize; somebody owned it and it was about five or six years old. So I had to give back the paper trimmer and get a new prize.
5. Kristina picked a prize bag with a bag of cement and a sleeve of shitty balls. We thought that it was a joke prize so we opened the bag of cement ... to find a block of instant drying cement in there.

Cities was a lot of fun this year. I can be such an idiot most of the time.

folk fest memory #1

When we were in the beer garden, Tori and I were sitting by the porta-potties waiting for Theresa and Mika to buy drinks. We were talking when I saw Michael Bernard Fitzgerald walk into one of the porta-potties, and since Tori had just told me that she loved him I persuaded her to talk to him after he got out.

So, as soon as he left the porta-potty, still wiping his hands with sanitizer, Tori booked it towards him and had a drunken conversation about how she loved him and how he was so cute. Shortly after Theresa and Mika came back, and when I pointed to Mika that Tori was talking to Michael, she, also drunk, ran towards him and yelled that he was Michael Bernard Fitzgerald. Many pictures were taken, and Mika tried to give him her phone number (when I told her she should). It was great.

listening: four night rider - the rural alberta advantage

88-92-87-84

It's so weird when it's summer, it's like if I shelve one part of myself away and pull out another side of me. Everyone from school disappears, and I'm super chums with everyone I golf with. I love seeing my golf friends, because we only get two months of tournaments to hang out with each other for an hour, two hours tops - unless we get a tee time together. Which is pretty rare. Which makes it more fun, because it's not like we know each other inside out; it's like if every time we hang out, there's an explosion of new things that happened, new golf stories, new tidbits about each other that we never knew before.

Yesterday at the banquet I sat with Mandy, Kylie, Janelle, Casara, and Jen. It was so funny; Mandy is so eccentric sometimes. I had some amusing conversations and moments; waiting for our pasta was an adventure on its own. Describing our pre-swing routines was also another moment that made me feel like dying of laughter.

Today was pretty amazing because I got to play with Ali - something that is quite rare. We are such a gong show when we're together; sometimes it's hard to stay serious because I know that if I look at her I'll laugh. But it definitely made the mood of the game today so much lighter; we joked around about everything so everything wasn't such a big deal. I think that helped my game, because I played pretty well except for one hole. And we didn't come in dead last!

So I'm not going to nationals, which was extremely upsetting and disappointing when my dad first told me about it. I mean, it was going to be the highlight of my summer - travelling to the other side of the country to play on a beautiful course, all by myself. But then I thought about it a bit more. It's expensive; it would be scary going all by myself; I honestly don't think I am a good enough golfer to go out there and actually be proud of my scores. So although I really, really wanted to do this, I'm not anymore. But it'll be okay, because then I get to hang out with the majority of my golf friends who aren't going to nationals, and we'll have a lot of fun. I still get to go to Vancouver with my family. I'll get to maybe hang out with some of my school friends.

And maybe I can ask for the Macbook now!

listening to: sure can start - two hours traffic

honesty

Sometimes I wish that I could die in a car crash, just so I could give up without actually giving up myself.

"What a shame," they'd say, "she had years to look forward to."

But I think I would be happy.

i just want to be over

you.

i wrote some witty banter

1. Volunteered at the mainstage at Olympic Plaza, which consisted of sitting by the exit, telling people it was an exit and not an entrance, and getting yelled at by a Native American for not letting him in without a festival pass.
2. HOLY FUCK was .. holy fuck. So good. One of the best live acts ever.
3. Went over to The Loose Moose Theatre with Mikki, and it was surprisingly really good. There are some kids my age who really know how to play guitar and sing.
4. Volunteered at Artlife on Saturday, which consisted of helping put up posters for the poster show and sitting down to listen to some amazing female singers. One of my favorites was Foonyap, who played violin/mandobird (sp?)/sang for Woodpigeon on Thursday. She was so hilarious, and I don't even think she was trying to be. My favorite song by her was the one about falling in love with a bicycle. Followed by the one about falling in love with a robot. The Doer and the Doddler was amazing, actually they all had such beautiful voices that soared and filled up the room and my soul.
5. Ran into Morgan Greenwood at Artlife, he mistakened me for my sister but after we talked for a bit before he went with Knots to go get something to eat. Then I ran into Austin from BRAIDS because Raphie was playing (as INDIENSOCI) but he was about to leave as well. Oh and ran into Katie Lee and she convinced me to try and get into the HiFi to watch BRAIDS play. INDIENSOCI played a sweet pop song as the last song of her set.
6. Walked over to The Palomino for the all-ages show and had a super garlic-y salad. Seriously, there were massive chunks of garlic just there. It burned my mouth and so I couldn't finish it. So a big negative there .. especially since I paid $12.00 for that. Oh but saw Jessica and Arielle there! Had a good lunch with them before Jessica had to go.
7. Brain Fever .. wasn't really my style of music, and when the (small) crowd started moshing, I got kicked in the shin and it hurts. But the band after them was really good .. Keith was playing bass in it!
8. Went to the HiFi alone because Mikki didn't think she could get in, and Kirsten ended up not being able to go. I borrowed my sister's passport and holy crap I was so nervous. The bouncer asked me for a birth certificate, and then I freaked out a little inside and asked if a passport was okay. He said that actually a passport was better than a license, took a good look at the passport and at me, and then let me through. I ran into Robin inside! We talked a lot about the other shows we went to and had a good time.
9. BRAIDS took a while to set up, which sucked a little because their set ended up being so short. They played four songs; three were new and one was Lemonade. It was really great, even though it ended earlier than I thought it would. I really hope they play Calgary in August.
10. Robin and I left after BRAIDS to go to the Warehouse. Got in there as well (thank god I look like my sister), and it was so hot in there. Githead was really good, then HEALTH played and were so energetic. Finally Holy Fuck went on. Robin, Tyler, and I were at the very front and at one point Graham Walsh's bum was right in my face while he was setting up. That's how close were were.
11. Holy Fuck was CRAZY! It was a million times more amazing than at Olympic Plaza because we were all just dancing and it was just the way the music made you feel .. I was just so happy the whole time they were playing. There were a lot of moshers so I kept having to push back using the stage just so I could stand straight, and it was so hot and sweaty but I loved it. And then I shook Brian Borcherdt's hand after the set. What a great way to end the festival.

i sampled my voice

1. Front row, almost directly in front of Final Fantasy. He was funny, charming, and such a talented musician. He played The Sea, The Butcher, Many Lives --> 49MP, Flare Gun, He Poos Clouds, and This Lamb Sells Condos along with many new songs. He then came back for an encore and giddily played What Do You Think Will Happen Next when somebody requested it, and The CN Tower Belongs To The Dead. He set up by himself so "even if you thought the set was bad, at least you can't call him lazy!" And showed us the sampling he did of his voice on his keyboard when trying to find the right setting. I want to be his friend so badly!
2. Lined up for the Knots/Rural Alberta Advantage/Woodpigeon/Mount Eerie show way too early, but met a guy who was really cool and interesting to talk to. It turned out that he used to play for The Grim Beat.
3. Because I lined up so early, I was first in the church and I got a spot front and center. Dead center.
4. Knots' voice is really good, I think he was a bit nervous though because he kept messing up his guitar playing.
5. Rural Alberta Advantage! I had never heard them but they were really good. I love a good drum beat, it's even better when there are two going on at once.
6. Woodpigeon also rocked, I love their harmonies and when whistling gets looped!
7. Everyone was waiting for Mount Eerie because he had never played in Calgary before. He has a really, really nice voice. It's smooth and raw and just so genuine. He is also a really funny guy, who talked about Michael Jackson and ended the show exactly when it was supposed to end.
8. My exams are done! And I finished with a 92 in calculus so things are fine.

listening to: willow tree - chad vangaalen

quenching your curiosity

Would the 10 year old you be happy to see where you're at today?

I'm more or less the same person as I was seven years ago.

What did you last write an essay on?

Truth and idealism.

Is there anything you keep forgetting to do?

Yeah .. which is why I owe so many people so much money.

If you were kicked out of your current house, where would you go?

Mikalina's house, most likely.

Do you have a reason to smile right now?

Lots.

Are you looking forward to anything?

Yes!

Is there any boy or girl worth fighting for?

He's worth it, but I'm not fighting for him.

Would you rather have knowledge or wisdom?

Wisdom is utilizing knowledge, so I would rather have wisdom.

If you could see any band in concert, who would it be?

Hmm there are a lot of bands I would want to see. But if it was ANY band, I would want to see Broken Social Scene. Full lineup. With Chad VanGaalen opening because that would rule so hard.

Do happy endings exist in your world?

The only happy ending is death.

Do you learn from your mistakes or find yourself constantly repeating them?

I think I learn from my mistakes.

Do you believe that all members of the opposite sex are basically the same?

No, everybody is unique.

Admit it, you love postsecret.com, don’t you?

I do love it.

What is one quality that you really appreciate in a person?

I really love people who can say the things you need to hear at the right time.

At the good old general store, what particular kind of candy would you expect to be in the big jar at the counter?

Those Coca Cola candies. I'm not really a big fan of candy in general.

What's the most messed up food combination that you've had that was actually good?

I don't necessarily mix up my food.

What's something that always makes you feel better about yourself?

Hugs.

Do you feel more comfortable, in general, in the presence of males or females?

I feel more comfortable around certain people, regardless of gender.

What is your biggest annoyance about the people that go to your school?

So much drama.

What compliments do you receive most often regarding your physical appearance?

My hair. Although I just cut it!

What song describes you perfectly?

The Season by The Dodos.

Do you find out who is knocking before you actually open the door?

Yeah, there is a window on my door.

Think back to the last person you held hands with, would you kiss them?

If I was holding hands with them, I was probably really comfortable with that person .. so I would, on the cheek.

If you were a doll, the accessories packaged with me would be?

Sunglasses, coloured pants, and shoes.

I have a fear of:

Falling down stairs.

Has a girl sat on your bed before?

Yes.

Who is the funniest person you know?

Gah so many to choose from

Are you afraid to grow up?

Not really, it's inevitable.

What is your worst subject in school?

Biology, hands down.

Have you ever been around someone who was high?

Probably.

What is something you wish you had more of?

Time and understanding.

When was the last time you cried?

Probably a couple weeks ago .. I hit a real low.

Last person you saw other than your family?

Er .. my extended family. Other than that, my manager.

Do you wash your hair in the shower?

Yeah, it's easier than in the sink.

Do you have someone who you can completely be yourself around?

There are some people I am so myself around that it's almost embarassing.

Are you usually the first to say you're sorry in a fight or last?

It depends on what we are fighting about.

Anything you want to say to someone?

There are lots of things I want to say to someone.

Honestly how many people have you truly fallen for?

One.

How many times do you talk on the phone a day on average?

On average, zero. Point one.

Do you think you could forgive someone who murdered your family?

Negatory.

What's the most important part of a relationship in your opinion?

Love.

If you could pack up and move away right now, would you?

No, I love my family.

How was your day?

Long. Also, a lot of people asked me that today.

What's your current problem?

There is not enough time to balance golf and friends. Also, I haven't really studied for my calculus exam yet.

Do you have a best friend?

Yes.

What are your outlooks on gay/bisexual relationships?

Whatevs.

Does someone have a crush on you?

That is doubtful.

Do you and your best friend have a song?

Chad VanGaalen is pretty much the soundtrack to our friendship.

Have you ever done anything illegal?

Yes but it wasn't that illegal haha.

Was your new years enjoyable?

I'm pretty sure it was.

Who was the last person to play with your hair?

Uh .. can't remember.

Think of the last person you kissed, have you cried in their arms?

No.

Now think of the person you kissed before that last person, did you cry in their arms?

No, I don't really cry in people's arms.

What's one thing you do when you're mad?

Clench my teeth.

When is the last time you saw number 2 on your top friends?

Who's number two?

Who's on your mind right now?

Nobody.

How do you feel about your hair right now?

I'm growing to like it.

Where were you at midnight last night?

Hanging out in my room.

How many 20 dollar bills do you have on you now?

Zero.

What does the tenth text in your inbox say, and who from?

"Haha its cuz you felt obligated to surrounded by all those nerdy people" - Nancy, regarding my studying habits.

Who was the last person you shot a dirty look at?

My sister.

Did anyone yell at you today?

More like angrily talking to me .. my sister.

Who did you spend your summer with?

My last summer? Gavin.

Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?

Yeah.

What are you doing?

This quiz.

Most annoying thing in your life?

You're, your, their, there, they're, to, too.

Have you ever thought you liked someone and then found out that you really didn't?

Nope.

Do you drink water?

SHOOT! I forgot my water bottle at work!

Do you think someone is thinking about you?

Who would want to think of me?

Do you care if people hate you for no reason?

Yes.

What do you want?

To be in the top ten for the poster contest .. so badly.

What were you doing at seven this morning?

Checking my iPod for the time and going back to sleep.

Would you ever get a tattoo?

Possibly.

Are you stubborn?

Sometimes I am.

Do you have more than 1 best friend?

Yes.

Has someone ever called you beautiful?

Yes! It made me really happy.

Will you be in a relationship in 4 months?

I don't look that far ahead.

Do you straighten your hair often?

Negatory.

Who did you spend most of your time with last night?

Cecilia, Maggie, and Julia! It was a fun time.

Do you like to make the first move?

No, I'm such a chicken!

Kiss with eyes open or closed?

Closed.

Do you like messages or comments better?

Messages.

What are you drinking?

Nothing.

Which do you bite more, your lips, tongue, or your finger nails?

My lip.

Do you have empty alcohol bottles hidden anywhere?

No I don't drink.

Where is your ex right now?

No idea.

Who did you talk to on the phone last/why?

Bronwyn, we were going to go watch a movie.

What are the chances of you having the person you like?

The same as being hit by a shooting star.

Do you think you'll have the same best friends a year from now?

I hope!

Are you physically weak or strong?

Strong, I think.

How many people could you not live without?

Most of them.

Are you okay with making a total fool of yourself?

Around the right people.

Would you go into public looking like you do now?

Uh it would look a bit strange.

Pick a word that begins with the first letter of your first name?

Allowed.

Where will you be in an hour?

In bed.

What makes you happy?

Mikalina.

What was your favorite childhood TV show?

I think it was Sesame Street.

Who did you have your last deep conversation with?

I think it might've been Bronwyn.

Do you enjoy late night conversations?

I never really have late night conversations.

Do you like your bed?

It is the best place in the world.

Do you know what you're going to wear tomorrow?

Uh no.

How many hours of sleep did you get yesterday?

Seven and a half.

How are you feeling?

Tired as heck!

Are you an argumentative person?

Depends on who I am around.

What kind of pants are you wearing at the moment?

Gym shorts.

What is the color of the shirt you're wearing right now?

Black.

What is the date two days after your birthday?

September 8th.

What is your least favorite color?

I don't really know.

Do you blow dry your hair?

Yes I hate leaving my hair wet.

Are there any products in your hair currently?

No I don't really do anything to my hair ever.

Can you see a stuffed animal from where you're sitting?

Negatory.

Have you taken a shower today?

Yes.

Are you one of those people who never drink pop?

No, I like pop.

Were you single on your last birthday?

No..

Are there any stressful situations in your life?

Yes.

Have you done anything stupid lately?

Not really.

Are you a loud person?

Around certain people at certain times.

Where is the boy/girl you like now?

Nonexisting somewhere in the land of nonexistence.

Were you happy when you woke up today?

Probably not, because I was waking up.

Where is your dad?

Downstairs, probably sleeping.

Would you date someone with piercings/tattoos?

Depends on what/where.

Do you trust all of your friends?

Only a handful.

Are you a rude person?

I don't try to be.

summer! summer! summer!

- Sled Island!

- Working

- Golfing at Country Hills

- Golfing at tournaments

- Folk Fest!

- Golfing in New Brunswick (hopefully!!!)

- Fam vacation in Vancouver

- Pictures!

- Friends?

listening to: burn 2 ash - chad vangaalen

i like to write

It's honestly the only way I feel like I can actually admit everything in my brain. There is just such a beauty in being able to express yourself fully without being interrupted, and without having to care about what others will think until two days later when you realize you're an idiot. Sometimes when I'm talking, I feel like such an idiot because I can't ever think fast enough to coherently complete a sentence, and I always stumble over all of my words. But anyway. I got my short story back, and I am so proud of it. I love that story so much, and I actually cannot believe that I wrote it. I want to show it to everyone, not because I want to boast it but for some reason I just want to keep collecting everyone's opinions on it, I want to create a small pool of others' thoughts. I've never felt so good about something in my life; whenever I do something, like take a picture or write a poem, I always look back on it and analyze it until I no longer like it. But this ... no. I just want to be acknowledged for something, I guess.

Tomorrow is the last day of school, I don't know what I feel about this. It seems like time ran out a bit too fast. I still want to see people and speak to people, but my summer already looks way too busy.

listening to: wake up - arcade fire