6.22.2008

but love is all i have to give

Dear Allison,

I'm nervous to write this note to you because I know I can't express all you mean to me in words. You are the one person that I want to impress, with how I act and everything I do. You are the one person that makes me worry about how I look and dress. But most importantly you are the one person that all that doesn't matter to. You see right through all that stuff into the real me. And the crazy thing is that you still love me.

It blows my mind to think that I only met this year. You are such a huge part of my life it is impossible to imagine it without you.

You are such an amazing person. With you I can talk about anything, we can talk nonsense for hours and it'll be awesome. And then we can just sit without saying anything, just enjoying each other's company, and it'll still be awesome.

With you I've shared so many perfect moments. So many times I've been able to realize a moment and wish for nothing more from it. And now no moment can be complete without you in my arms.

I love you.

Dear Gavin,

This year has probably been the best year of my life. I made so many new friends, joined so many new things, and just enjoyed things so much more. And I got to meet you, which has got to be the best choice I've ever made. I remember back when we were at choir camp, and I first met you. When we were at the dance party, right then I realized how much I liked you, and I had to fight an urge to not grab your hand while we were standing in that circle. We were so close then. We are so close now.

These past three weeks have been absolutely amazing. I know I've only ever dated one guy before, but right now the only person I ever want to be with is you. Whether it's while we're hanging out with all of our friends, in your car, at a park, or with your family, there is no better feeling I get than when I am near you. I just feel so comfortable with you, like it's absolutely right, like we are supposed to be together. And when I'm away from you, I get such a intense nervous feeling that doesn't go away.

You are the nicest guy I've ever met, and there is nobody I know who would drive up to my house just to pick me up and go back to your house, or drive me to my orthodontist appointment and wait for me there so we can hang out after. I love it when we just go to a park and sit there, even when we just lay there in silence. I love lying on your chest and listening to your heart beat. I love when you put your hands on my sides, or when you put your hand on my leg, because I get such spasms from being ticklish that it's the funniest sensation in the world.

I love you. It took so long for us to figure it out, but I'm so glad that we did in the end. It just feels so natural when we're on my driveway, and we just stand there together until I really have to go. Your arms are the safest place to be in. I have never felt so cheesy with my emotions, but with you I don't care. You are the only person I could quote Backstreet Boys lyrics to and mean them. Thank you so much for the note, it meant more to me than you will ever know. You mean more to me than you'll ever know.

listening to: [untitled bonus track] - fm static

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