I'm going to try to just write anything that comes into my mind, because this is extremely hard for me when I think about everything way before it actually happens. I'm doing my homework right now, and I just realized that I don't care about what I am learning about at all. Yet I don't want to do bad at it. Everything these days seems so mundane. I feel so jaded, like everything doesn't seem so impressive anymore. I don't think I really care about anything anymore.
I feel like such a jerk these days, like maybe I'm finally being my true self. But I don't want to be a jerk. I should probably think about the things I say before I actually say them, because after I run through these things in my mind after, I feel horrible. Back when I was in elementary school, I was the biggest asshole ever. I don't know why, but I even tried to be. I disgust myself. I'm going to try to change. I feel so devoid of thoughts, it's like everything just slips through. Maybe I don't care about things enough to discuss them.
These days I feel really shallow. I can't get deep into anything, why don't I care about anything? Why doesn't anything provoke thoughts anymore? Why does my day always sound really boring?
Why do I feel so lonely so often?
I feel like such a jerk these days, like maybe I'm finally being my true self. But I don't want to be a jerk. I should probably think about the things I say before I actually say them, because after I run through these things in my mind after, I feel horrible. Back when I was in elementary school, I was the biggest asshole ever. I don't know why, but I even tried to be. I disgust myself. I'm going to try to change. I feel so devoid of thoughts, it's like everything just slips through. Maybe I don't care about things enough to discuss them.
These days I feel really shallow. I can't get deep into anything, why don't I care about anything? Why doesn't anything provoke thoughts anymore? Why does my day always sound really boring?
Why do I feel so lonely so often?
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